you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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