If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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