I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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