why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
