Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I forgot how hot balto sounded
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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