Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
