1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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