Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
