You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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