There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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