my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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