whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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