how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
