Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
