Tell her she can't have a vagina
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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