I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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