Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
