is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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