who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
