Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
