My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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