i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
