Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
