She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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