girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
