I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
