...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
