dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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