Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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