The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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