i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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