Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
