just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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