Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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