if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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