i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
