Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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