Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
