Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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