My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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