my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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