Define "chronic" masturbator.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
