Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
