it wasn't lemon gatorade
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He felt like a one man threesome
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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