Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
