I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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