Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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