I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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