allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
