We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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