I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
