remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize