Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
