In the future we'll all be gay
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
