We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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