he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
