Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize