i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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