I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
